Honey’s Story

Post-Gazette.com

Here’s a good story for you. Honey was a shelter dog, described as black and white, who gave birth to a litter of 6 pups. She was splashed over dozens of print and through other media as she stepped up, or the shelter offered her up, to serve as a surrogate to nine African painted dog pups at the Pittsburgh Zoo, when their own mother died while giving birth.

Go honey go! I imagine she is quite tired after serving two families.

What a wonderful story. Not just for Honey. But, for shelter dogs everywhere. And, for us. It doesn’t matter your pedigree nor your social status in the way you can give- and be recognized. We should all heed this call.

Can you imagine how many people now want to adopt Honey? You see when someone, or something, is brought to the limelight we pay more attention. When people, or in this case Honey, does a good deed- we watch and applaud.

What “Honey-like” thing have you done lately? How have you served others, those unrelated to you?

Let’s all be like Honey. No matter where we came from. No matter what our current status. Let’s stand up, do something wonderful and welcome the recognition. It could change our world.

For more on the story see: http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/09308/1010601-455.stm

Failed Systems and Positive Reinforcement

I was really appalled by the tragic story of a young woman being attacked at her high school dance in Richmond California the other week. As a psychologist I am familiar with, although do not condone, the social workings of individuals in groups who watch crimes but do not report them nor help the victim. It was such a heinous crime with so many opportunities for people to do the right thing, and they all failed. I applaud the young woman who finally notified authorities when she heard people talking about the crime. She did the right thing.

But, as I was reading about the case a few statistics popped out at me. According to a report from CBS News (linked in this blog title), Richmond High School has a truancy rate of 69% AND had 19 student murders last year. You can read that again if you need to. It bears re-reading.

Now, if this isn’t a “failed state” or entity I haven’t yet seen one. This is a broken system. The billion dollar question is what do you do with a poor system?

What would you do if your business was broke? Your family wasn’t working? I am hoping the answer is to realign the priorities and make sure the members are on board. Bring in the experts to fix the problem. Who the experts are is a matter for another book, let alone blog.

The answer is NOT to positively reinforce school failure with dances and other unnecessary social elements when the basics of education are not being met. We do not need to throw gold stars at failing systems. I was sickened to read one school official quoted as saying the “dance was a success”. Ask the victim if she agrees with that.

(If I were Queen for a day) I would recommend this school be taken over immediately, by some entity- we can argue which one- that can instill order and ensure that students are afforded the basic necessities of a good education: safety, books and materials, teachers, counselors, discipline and order, respect, a learning environment, etc… All other elements are unnecessary.

Wow. You might be saying. You’re tough! I am. I am also the product of an alternative school. My high school had only the necessary elements listed above. We didn’t have dances. We didn’t have sports teams and mascots. We didn’t have elements that set people up for failure (including events that attract drinking and trespassers). We had books, teachers, and a whole lot of learning. We all chose to be there for 3 to 6 hours a day and then most of us went to work somewhere for the remainder of the day. If you missed 3 days (without a medical excuse) you were out. Out. You couldn’t come back. Yes, this was a public school.

Don’t reward failed states, failed systems. It’s adding fuel to the fire. Get control of what you can. Find others to do what you can’t.

Know your numbers. 69% truancy is not something to be proud of.

Celebrate Veterans Day the Whole Month Long!

Although I am really fired up about the gang rape at Richmond High School, and have a few strong opinions on the matter, I'll save that for my next blog entry. Today, I have happier news to share....

November is such a great month to celebrate our veterans, their families and the communities that support them. Thank you to all.

I was meeting with our book team last week and I could barely keep track of all of our articles, events, leads, etc... This is a wonderful problem to have. Therefore, I wanted to share some of our upcoming events and invite you to join us live, on the internet or in spirit. Nevertheless, I hope you join your local festivities in celebration of Veterans Day this month.
To name just a few:

November 3rd Three Veterans, Three Stories: Three Lives of Service at the John A. Brashear Lodge No. 743 6:30 PM

November 11th KDKA Pittsburgh Today Live - I'll be interviewed between 9 and 10 AM (watch or view later online at http://kdka.com/ptl)

November 11th Introduction to Veteran’s Entrepreneurship 9 AM-12:30 PM (I won't be there personally but think the world of the two veterans putting it on)

November 14th the oldest book shop in the country, the Moravian, in Bethlehem PA for a book signing and discussion 1-3 PM

December 5th the Heinz History Center Author Book Fair from 10 AM- 1 PM

I'm on Facebook and use it more and more as time goes on to keep in touch with everyone. I have a group for World War II Radio Heroes: Letters of Compassion (my book) and encourage everyone to post relevant discussions and post events to the site. I also have a page for our wildly successful Champions Series. Champions and friends will be welcome to post discussions and events there as well. This is particularly exciting for the Champions who don't live in Pittsburgh or find it challenging to make our events. Please friend me on Facebook and join our respective groups. We welcome you.

I also have a newsletter for those who want to follow our book events and activities and a separate newsletter, the Living Better Newsletter, for those who want to liver happier and strike greater balance in their lives. You can join both or one or the other by clicking on the link on the right under my picture with Lou.

Finally, we are also offering 10% off any purchases made on our website for the month of November to celebrate service. www.powletters.com

Wishing you a wonderful November and December as we wind down 2009. I hope you have had a successful year and are enjoying all that life has to offer.

If you need more information about any of these events just email me.

Don’t Make it Hard for Me to Give You My Money

I am often amazed at how companies and people make it hard to donate or buy goods and services. Take this example, from my experience this week:

A monumental endeavor was underway in Pittsburgh to offer donors matching funds one one day, for a 30 minute window. I’m in! I love stuff like this. Great marketing. Great buzz. Get people excited. And, a good way to promote giving- particularly as we embark on the holidays and charities are feeling a squeeze. Great set up.

Ok. So, I do all of my homework ahead of time. I picked my charity. I created my sign on. I put in on my calendar.

I sat at my work station 10 minutes before the big event waiting…. I signed on and at 2 minutes past the hour I made my sizable donation. My donation, by the way, will serve as my holiday giving it its entirely. I decided to donate all of my usual holiday spending rather than buy gifts few will even remember next year.

Here’s where the trouble comes in. I signed on minutes before the big event to be ahead of the game. I made my donation on the minute that the match was to begin. But, I never got a confirmation that my donation was matched. I did get a confirmation and receipt of my donation but no sign that it was in fact matched, which was the whole reason for giving via this particular site on this day and time. Otherwise, I would have walked it to my charity of choice and avoided the 5% processing fee.

I emailed the host site/organization (not my charity) asking how donors would know that their contributions were matched.

I got a response apologizing for my frustration (I wasn’t frustrated, just curious, at this point) for not being able to sign in (not my question).

I emailed them again, highlighting that their response didn’t match my question. I successfully signed in and donated. I was just wondering how we’d know for sure our money was matched.

I got a response telling me that they couldn’t access my private credit card information and I’d have to speak to another agency about that. (again, not my question)

Bottom Line: I’ll never donate using that methods, site, and organization again. Simple.

The Red Flags: They didn’t have a good system in place to finish the game (people want to know they WON a match by signing on early and donating in minutes). Further, they didn’t read the emails sent to them by donors well enough to offer an accurate or thoughtful response. And, they tried to pass me on to another agency entirely. Bad. Bad. Bad.

What I’ll do next time: Hand deliver my check to my charity of choice and look for other more reliable matching methods.

Companies Beware: You need to make it easy for people to give you their money. If you hype something up and make it a game, follow through with the hype and let them know they are a winner! Who wants to run a race and not know where they placed?!

And, take the extra time to READ the emails your customers send you and then respond. If not, you’ll lose your customers, as is the case here.

A Very Special Veteran's Day Program- Join us in Pittsburgh November 3, 2009

This is a photo of my grandmother, Kathryn, and my grandfather, Robert. He was a POW in WWII, held for 26 months. I had the opportunity to get to know my grandmother through the age of 5 and my grandfather through 12. I'll cherish those memories.

I have been invited, thus I am inviting you, to share in a wonderful Veterans Day Program celebration on November 3rd at a local Masonic Lodge. I hope you will consider joining me in thanking our veterans, their families and their supporters for a job well done.

On Tuesday, November 3, 2009 John A. Brashear Lodge No. 743 will conduct a new kind of Veterans Day celebration. Typically we commemorate the day in many of the traditional ways we see in our communities. This year’s program is titled Three Veterans, Three Stories: Three Lives of Service. Our speakers will share their stories of veterans who touched their lives and how they’ve turned to serving thousands through their life’s work. Speakers include Lisa Spahr, author of World War II Radio Heroes; Sgt. Lee Wagner, USMC; and Summer Tissue, Founder of Military Connections.

We will welcome ladies and non masons to this event, in conjunction with the theme of the program. The program will run from 6:30 PM to approximately 9 PM.

Evening Proceeds and Donations will be made to Military Connections, a non-profit organization that ships equipment, care packages, and supplies to troops stationed overseas. The holiday season is fast approaching and many of our Soldiers and Marines do not receive care packages from anyone, but Military Connections, who ships over 900 care packages a month. Over 700 of the troops on the Military Connection mailing list have no family or friends to send them a box. We want to ensure that they are not forgotten. This year, Military Connections is attempting to ship over 10,000 filled Christmas stockings to the troops. Each stocking costs $30 to fill and ship. Any support we receive for this project will boost morale at an especially difficult time.

Masons through history have supported their countries through military service, and they have been privileged to support the contributions of our veterans through the years. This year we are pleased to broaden our focus to the family and the community at large, and recognize their sacrifice. We grow as citizens through our families, and draw strength from the support of our communities. This will be the focus of our celebration for Veteran’s Day.

"Why are there Socks in Your Purse?"

Throughout the year I take stock in all that I have. Doing so allows me to limit the “I want…” language and increase the “I have …” Usually at the top of my list is some reference to my mental faculties. I’m sure that being a psychologist has given me the special gift of appreciation for mental stability that most people take for granted. Waking each day and being able to make choices about my life, with some sense of clarity I hope, gives me joy. Its part of why I coach others. Some lose sight of their choices or they feel overwhelmed by them. I help remedy those situations.

Along those lines is the wonderful ability to learn. So many of us stop learning or at least actively doing it or practicing it. We get into routines that direct our lives without much thought or creativity. Think about it…. What is the last thing you learned? What have you changed about your habits or routine?

The socks… I’m getting there.

So, the other week I was preparing for a doctors visit, the OB-GYN to be specific. (I can hear the groans now. Don’t stop reading. The story is clean I assure you.) I am always cold at the doctor’s office- no matter which office, no matter which city I’ve lived. I’m always cold. Yet, it was warm outside, warranting light clothing, sandals, no hose or socks. It was as though the “aha” light bulb went off. I could take socks with me! It was like a best girlfriend was yelling it from the heavens. What a novel idea! Take what you’ll need to comfort yourself later. Brilliant.

I’ve been going to the doctor and shivering, much of my life. Why now, at 36, did it dawn on me to take socks? Who cares! It did. The fact is that I identified a problem and then figured it out! Who cares that I was a little late in doing so. You know what they say…. Better late than…

I suggest you try to find solutions to the pains that exist in your life and your activities. Think beyond the routine. The solutions may be simple, as mine was, or it could be wildly creative and complex. Use your brain. Be thankful for it and its abilities. It’s a beautiful thing.

Keys to Motivation

Last week I had the distinct pleasure to speak to the Volunteer Administrators of Southwestern Pennsylvania (VASP) at their annual Super-Conference. There are those conferences that stand out in my years of doing this and VASP will definitely be one of them. The audience was filled with volunteers and paid professionals who help run social service and emergency assistance agencies nationwide. These are the people that get the job done- and many of them do it with non-paid volunteers who work around the clock. All of us owe them a hearty thank you for the work they do.

I spoke with them about motivation. The highlights from the talk are:

• Be what you want others to be (and do what you want others to do)
  One woman mentioned cleaning the toilets at a local park where she organized a huge walk-a-thon. She knew that if volunteers didn’t have a clean area to rest they would be unlikely to come back. There was no job too little for her to do to ensure the mission was carried out. You must lead by example.
  
• Identify your passions and purpose. What fuels you? What keeps you working hard for the mission? Make sure you begin each day with purpose. Do like Ben Franklin did, ask yourself what good you can do today. Then, ask yourself what you’ve accomplished at the end of the day.
  
• Get to know your people. We all aren’t motivated by the same things. If you are in charge of others or work with them, it’s important to know what fuels them. Ask them. Take an interest in their lives. How you motivate them will reveal itself in that relationship.
  
• Get ready for any opportunity. I always visualize this as the track stars get in their position waiting the signal that they can begin their sprint or race. Are you in that position? Are you ready for the opportunities that await you? Is your team?
  

If you are jazzed about something so much it shows on your face, its what you talk about, it’s the thing that everyone knows about you…. It will be contagious. People will jump on the wagon with you. They’ll want to be with you on the mission. Create that environment. It all starts with you…. One person.

Thanks VASP for the opportunity to talk about motivation. I really loved spending the day with you. - Lisa

Are Your Employees Ready to be Busy?

My husband and I go to the same bagel shop every weekend. Sometimes, both weekend mornings. And, sometimes we even go for coffee on a weekday. We really enjoy the place. We grab our usual seats by the window and settle in for an hour or longer.

The food and service are usually pretty consistent. Random times we have to wonder if our bagels were really toasted or if we gave them the wrong order- resulting in a little different outcome than we expected. (smile) But, we grin and roll with it. We are very agreeable customers- at least I think so.

This morning, however, was “one to take the cake or bagel” so to speak. It was wildly busy (which does happen during every shift). We stood in line for about 15 minutes. No big deal. We were up for it. I said my usual, “hello” to the new-ish clerk behind the counter when she looked up at us in exhaustion. I got a tepid “hi” back. She took our order and I sensed trouble. She didn’t seem as familiar with the system as the seasoned clerks we know so well.

15-20 minutes later my bagel came out. By itself. It did not accompany my potatoes nor was my husband’s meal in sight. 10 minutes later, my husband inquired as my bagel sat quietly cooling to room temp, loosing the lovely gooiness that the peanut butter possesses on a warm one. “It’s coming,” the newbie said before he opened his mouth. He sat back down. 10 minutes later he inquired again. “It’s coming.” Finally we saw it across the room. My potatoes still missing in action. Later they emerged- cool to the touch. While my husband was up at the counter asking them to toast his 40+ minute late meal, I was quickly behind him with my potatoes. Now I was perturbed. It took 5 minutes for anyone to pay any attention but when they did I asked for a fresh batch of potatoes- and ones without a foreign object (a mushroom or piece of meat) in them. I think she rolled her eyes.

I could go on with the story but I’ll spare you as I had hoped to be spared myself.

The gist is that even loyal customers are not going to forgive bad service. TRAIN YOUR STAFF to recognize busy atmospheres from a customer’s perspective. They pay the same price and expect the same consistency in service and food quality. They pay more in fact, because they are willing to wait in lines and wait a little longer for HOT food.

We understand the stress level is higher during busy times. We know you are working hard. But, we are still your customers. We do have the right to expect a few things from you- even when you are busy.

I really wanted to say, “I am really sorry that you are so busy.” But, I don’t know that any of them would have gotten the real meaning of my statement.

We’ll find another favorite. Thanks. I take my money too seriously to tolerate bad service and bad food.