Bahia

I was moved last week. I was reading about one of the airplanes that had gone down in recent weeks and a story jumped out at me. It was about 12-year old Bahia. I hope you’ve heard about her.

Bahia and her mother were traveling by air (to and from where matter far less). The plane went down. Her mother was lost forever. Bahia clung to a piece of the shattered aircraft unable to see anything in the darkness around her. She said she could hear voices but couldn’t see anything.

Do you know how long she hung on to that piece of scrap? 13 hours.

(Let’s put this in some bad perspective: I can barely hold a 8 lb barbell at my side, in the air, for 3 minutes less than even imagine clinging on to a piece of metal in the cold dark sea- for 13 hours- with no one to support you.)

When Bahia was saved, after calling out to a passing ship, her father commented on who his daughter is. He said she is a “frail young girl”. Here’s where I nearly fell out of my seat. Frail? Dear Sir, there is nothing frail about this dynamo. She’s one of the strongest people I’ve ever read about- in body, mind and spirit.

This article (read in the New York Times, my daily choice for reading) gave me a great deal to ponder over the last few days. It brought about thoughts of perception, self-perception and that of others, cultural descriptions of youth and women, in particular, what strength and frailty really mean, etc…

I was so moved by Bahia’s strength that her name as gone on a list of “children’s names” if I ever get an opportunity to name any. “Bahia” is one of the ones that has more meaning. Others are just silly and fun, like, “Lily .. Pad”. My husband really hates that one. I suppose I’m an artist at heart.

Let’s celebrate Bahia this week by thinking about her, her ordeal and our own strengths.

The Coach’s Guide to Wedding Planning… Due Out Soon

Tis the season… of brides. No matter what shape the economy is in, people are falling in love and getting married. They may plan for 1 week, 1 month or 1 year- or many choices in between, but their planning. And, it can be stressful (as I have observed).

As many of you know I married for the first time on May 23. I planned for my wedding for 7 months. (I waited what seemed to be a lifetime.) My planning was virtually stress free and really fun. How on earth did I do that? I’ll tell you… in the Coach’s Guide to Wedding Planning. I’m writing it now and it will be available soon. Email me (lspahr@spahrconsulting.com) if you want to be on the waiting list.

I’ll discuss everything from the dress…..

To the venue and date selection...

To the food…..

To the inclusion of your husband to-be…..


To you guest list…
And, to the special elements that you can add to make this a unique and very personal experience for everyone.

All of this information will come to you from the bride, who is also a coach. The goal is to keep your stress level down, excitement and enthusiasm up, and fill this time with wonderful memories you'll share with a smile for many years to come!

I can't begin to tell you how wonderful my wedding was, to me, my husband and our guests. I have no doubt I can help you make your event the same.

The Changing Face of YOU

I was at a presentation the other day on social media. The presenter illustrated how we are different than our parents’ generation. Young people today have had a dozen jobs before they turn 30, they meet and network online and they multi-task like never before.

I often have this conversation with people. Although I know quite a few people who stay at their jobs 10+, 30+ years, I know far more that change jobs every 3 years. I’ve been one of them (the latter).

I just added my part-time and full-time adventures up. I’ve had more than 25. Mind you, I started working at the age of 12 (“waitressing” for the inquiring minds). I’ve done everything from work as a gas station attendant, serve pizza from a pizza truck on Temple’s campus, deliver messages for a company called Heaven Sent, to work for a police think tank and top-military training company as an Investigative Scientist.

Regarding social media and electronic savvy: I met my husband via MySpace. (Need I say more?) We spoke via email a few months before meeting in person. I also own/manage 2 websites, 2 blogs, 1 Ezine and am frequently on Facebook. One final piece of evidence: I sent video thank you to my wedding guests, rather than traditional stationary thank yous.

And, last point, multi-tasking: For several years I’ve worn multiple hats. Those hats could be for the same company or working multiple jobs at the same time. My max is 3 jobs at once. I have a lot of energy. And, I have a lot of interests. I enjoy taking on interesting projects. (That’s not an invitation… unless you have something really phenomenal…)

I encourage you to consider who you are in today’s world. I think it’s great if you choose to stay in one place for 20+ years. I also think its okay to realize if your goals are elsewhere. My caution is that you get too stuck in your ways. Step outside your primary profession and see what people are doing. Go outside your company to socialize and see what the buzz is. Travel once per year to a place unlike your town. Accept and embrace adventure.

From one adventurer to another. Enjoy.

An Icon Dead at 50? Lessons Learned the Hard Way

What can we learn from Michael Jackson's death?

Well, after grieving the loss of a pop start that defined most of my youth (and likely yours); I encourage you to look at your own life for threats of crisis.

I was in shock when my husband delivered the news to me. (I frequently review the New York Times (online version) each day and listen to NPR, mostly in the car. But, on this sad day I was listening to an audio book in my kitchen preparing dinner.) Within minutes I said to him, “A heart attack at 50! He seemed to be in good shape! I want you and I to take better care of ourselves. I couldn’t imagine losing you at 50.”

The very real possibility of a youthful death entered my mind. I thought about his kids. I thought about what if I would have children and then die young or have my husband do the same. It was eerie.

The autopsy hasn’t been released yet. We don’t know what caused his cardiac arrest. However, we do know what causes them to happen to anyone….. heart disease, stress, using certain drugs, cigarette smoking and exposure to extreme cold. (See linked site above as a reference.)

Are you at risk? If so, do something about it today. You owe it to yourself and your family.

No one should have to lose a loved one at the age of 50. It’s hard enough at 85. But, 50 simply feels like a terrible injustice, particularly to a man billions of people had once loved.

The Other Man in My Life….and he could be yours today

We found “Frankie” last night around midnight. He was wondering the streets with no identification. We call him Frankie because of his gorgeous cool blue eyes.

We spent ½ of our Fathers Day (Rob is so wonderful) finding a shelter for the lovely Frankie. We dropped him off at the Western PA Humane Society (on Western Ave on the North Shore) about an hour ago.

Frankie is awesome. He’s under a year old, spunky, loving, good with people and dogs, trainable….. He knows “sit” (not that he does it consistently) and is housebroken (from our 12 hours with him).

He is a non-neutered male with at least part Pit Bull in him. I’m not sure what the other part it. He has some German Shepard qualities. He is not micro chipped. And, I believe, from some of his early behavior with us, that he may have been hit in his last home.

We want to find Frankie a new and loving home.

If you have considered adopting a pet (any kind of pet) I beg you to visit your local shelters this week.

If you think Frankie could be the man for you please go to the Humane Society in the next few days to meet him. He’ll be on hold for 48 hours in case his owners come forth.

Although we call him Frankie, the Humane Society has him under the ID A107200. Their number is 412-321-4625 and their site is http://www.wpahumane.com/

Please let me know if you followed up on Frankie. I’ll be thinking about him for some time to come.

Please also support your own local shelters to the best of your ability (monetary donations, in-kind donations, volunteering, encouraging spay and neuter programs, etc….)

Many thanks. And, Happy Father’s Day.

Reversal of Attitude

My friend Tara can attest to this. In my late teens, I used to hate going over to someone’s house to “watch a movie”. That was in sharp contrast to years before when Becky and I would spend every Friday night at her place watching one- after going to the high school football game of course.

Why did I hate it so much? I figured I could watch one at home if I wanted to do that- why go elsewhere?! And, I suppose I opted for other alternatives. After all, now you have a car, a license, and the freedom to go anywhere you want. (“Those were the days!” Isn’t that what people say?)

Fast forward to today, 2009. Rob and I can be found “living up our Fridays” at home in a fierce game of Scrabble. In fact, twice this week I’ve been engaged in “scrabble-related” conversations with business colleagues. We’re considering a friendly game in the months ahead. And, a few weeks ago at my wedding, a group of people (unknown to one another until that weekend, by the way) gathered on their last night at the Greenbrier to play cards together.

Attitudes change. Mine has. We can spend hours discussing why and how, but I think the important point is that it’s okay. It’s okay to change your mind. It’s okay to all of a sudden like something you hated. It’s okay to want to do something differently. It’s more than okay, in fact, its highlighting that you are a free-thinker and not controlled by the past.

I still don’t love sitting down and watching television or movies. I get fidgety (mind and body). But, I enjoy doing it occasionally with people who love it- because of what it means to them. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll be yelling “movie time!”

Volunteering Calls You!

Similar to post-9/11, people are looking for greater meaning in their lives. More fulfilling ways to spend their time.

I have several clients who are opting to leave high-powered, 70-hr work weeks, for jobs that pay 1/2 their current salaries but are far more community-centered.

I encourage everyone to volunteer with/for a cause that speaks to them. Volunteering doesn't just mean serving meals to people (a common misconception). It can be offering your expertise to your favorite charity for 10 hours a month (~2 hours a week).

Visit www.volunteermatch.org and type in your zip code and a keyword (choose a word related to your charities of choice such as "children" or "animals"; or choose a word related to what you do, such as "accounting" or "database"). This site will show you opportunities that exist in your area for your keywords.

How much simpler can it be?

Also, call your favorite charities and ask them if they need volunteers. I'd be surprised if they say no.

Happy volunteering. Let's all bring a little more meaning into our lives.

7 Tips for Better Living

What is the recipe for success? What makes a man or woman feel accomplished? The truth is that it’s different for each one of us. It takes a comprehensive look at ourselves, our values, our principles, our desires and our goals to identify what a successful life would look like for us.

But, if I had to share with you a general recipe for better living it would include:
1. Read more, watch less (turn the telly off and pick up a book)
2. Take 1 hour for yourself each day (to exercise, to meditate, to study something, etc…)
3. Create goals for yourself (daily, weekly, monthly and annually)
4. Socialize with others at least once a week outside of your work (a group dinner, happy hour, a group sports event, etc…)
5. Get involved with your community (join a club, volunteer, sit on the board, etc…)
6. Create a personal manifesto that will guide you, your actions, your choices, your decisions….
7. Do a year end review. Ask yourself, “What did I accomplish this past year?” Revisit your goals, hopes, challenges, and successes. Then, design your plan for the year ahead.